Nuts to You

A friend of mine who works for an electronic components company was feeling punchy one afternoon…he forwarded me his correspondence with a client for whom English was (thankfully) a second language.

from: [client, name withheld]
to: Rose
cc: David

Subject: missed item

Dear Rose,

I hope you are well.

In October, 2004, we ordered the following item from you:

Spacers – 2,000 pcs.

Now we found out that we have not enough NUTs for that screws. So we have enough screws (spacers) and washers but nuts are missed. The difference is circa 700 pcs. We kindly ask you if is possible to send us that nuts to complete that item asap.

Thanks and best regards,

From: David

Dear Mr. [client]:

As the new manager of the export department I want to thank you for your email. I am sorry to learn of the missing nuts, but is it possible that it has taken you almost a year and a half to discover your nuts were missing? According to point 6d of [company]’s Terms of Sale (see the our website) the purchaser has up to 8 days to report defects or irregularities and such a missing part is an apparent anomaly.

However, I am concerned about your nuts and am therefore prepared to make an inquiry to our warehouse as to where they might be. In the event that our stock shows an abundance of stray nuts, or an inordinately low number of accompanying screws, I will happily forward your missing pieces, proving once again our commitment to the QUALITY of our products and service.

Rose is away on Maternity leave, but she will be happy to know I am doing my best to track your nuts in her absence.

Best regards,


From: [client]

To: David

Subject: Re: R: missed item

Dear Mr. [David],

Thank you for answer. Yes it is possible to find your mistake after one year and half because we do not want to complicate your life and when we received your goods we knew the quantity is not OK. But as manufacturer we have all components in stock and when the quantity limitates to zero we put the order for new quantity. And as we work with your company more than 10 years we intended to ask you for the missed nuts with the next order of spacers but we have not ordered this components until now and now we have more than 700 screws in stock and zero of nuts.

The nuts should be packed in complete with other components like screw and washer, every component should be in the quantity of 1000 pcs in one bag. But in the kit were not enough nuts. So you will not find the special code for nuts in your warehouse but you have only one code as spacers for the kit. So please check with your supplier to send you the nuts to complete the item screws.

Best regards,

From: David

To: [client]

I have passed your claim to the quality control team that will conduct a rigorous search for your missing nuts. Additionally, they will perform a cross-referenced check to determine if other clients have experienced the dissatisfaction of nutless screws. Correct, we have no special nut code. I have instructed our team to inspect the unit x/xxxxx while paying special attention to the number of nuts in the bag.

I hope to have positive news soon and I promise to keep you abreast of developments!

My best wishes,

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