Category Archives: Italy

Learning Italian

When I first met Enrico, I spoke no Italian, and at some point early in the relationship I decided to learn it. I already had one language under my belt: I had studied Hindi in high school and college, and spoke it fluently. Italian is a lot easier. In terms of pronunciation, it’s one of the simplest languages on earth, having far fewer discrete sounds even than English (whereas Hindi has far more: I had had to learn to distinguish between four different T sounds and four different D sounds – aspirates and non-aspirates, dental and palatal).

Italian grammar is more complex than English, but far less complex than Hindi (not as many inflections). Italians are so delighted that you’re even trying that they will forgive a multitude of errors, which can be a handicap for a learner as they often won’t tell you when you make mistakes.

I took Italian classes at the US Department of Agriculture in Washington, DC. Taking a night class once or twice a week is not an efficient way to learn a language. I got to where I understood a lot, but couldn’t say much. That was cured in the winter of 1989, when Rossella was a baby. She and I stayed a month in Rome with my in-laws, while Enrico was hopping back and forth across the Atlantic, working on his PhD at Yale and searching for an academic job in Italy. My mother-in-law speaks no English (she does speak French), so I was forced to speak Italian. By the end of the month, Enrico’s friends were all commenting on the huge improvement in my Italian.

My spoken Italian took another leap in 1991, when I began working for Fabrizio. He conducted the interview entirely in Italian, and never mentioned that he spoke English. And he had no qualms about correcting my Italian. Some weeks after I started, I ran across a document in the office, written in near-perfect English. “Who wrote this?” I asked. “He did,” said the secretary. But, to this day, Fabrizio refuses to speak English with me. He claims that he can’t understand my accent, though he understands everyone else, American or British (or Chinese or Japanese), just fine. I don’t mind speaking only Italian with him, but it gets awkward when other non-Italian-speakers are around, as I then have to translate for their benefit.

I developed a new skill with Fabrizio: simultaneous translation and transcription. If he wanted something written in English, he would dictate it to me in Italian, and I would type it straight out in English. I’m not sure I could do simultaneous translation if I had to speak, but I can do it typing, as fast as he can talk.

All of my in-laws are university professors, so from them I learned excruciatingly correct Italian. My suoceri (mother- and father-in-law) never use strong language. At most, my suocero says things like “Perdiana!” or “Perbacco!” – “by Diana” or “By Bacchus” – I suppose it’s okay to take the name of the lord in vain, so long as it’s not a god you actually believe in. Or he says “Per tutti i dindiridin.” Don’t ask me what that means.

From Fabrizio, I learned a very different category of Italian. Not that it hasn’t been useful.

Religion in Italian Schools

An agreement was made in 1884 between the Italian Republic and the Vatican, modified by the Lateran Concorde of 1929, and ratified in a new law in 1985, which reads:

The Italian Republic, recognizing the value of religious culture, and keeping in mind that the principles of Catholicism are part of the historic patrimony of the Italian people, will continue to assure, among the broader goals of education, the teaching of the Catholic religion in all public schools below university level.

Respecting the freedom of conscience and educational responsibility of parents, everyone is guaranteed the right to choose whether or not to take advantage of such teaching.

When enrolling, students or their parents can exercise this right, upon request of the school authorities, and their choice may not give rise to any form of discrimination.

In accordance with the law, our daughter Rossella could have started religious education as early as pre-school. I was nervous about this, not wanting her to be catechized at such a young age, but also not wanting her to be the odd kid out. During the enrollment period, parents were invited to group meetings with the principal so that he could explain the school’s philosophy. To my surprise, one father’s biggest concern was to keep his child out of religious instruction – this man looked and sounded 100% Italian, but clearly was not very Catholic. The principal explained that, because he did not want any of his staff to teach religion, he had exercised his option to have a teacher provided by the local diocese. And, in accordance with the law, it was any parent’s right to opt out of this; a supervised alternate activity would be provided. That father and I were both much relieved.

A family friend faced a dilemma with her small child: she needed daycare, but the only place available near home was a private institution run by nuns. With some misgivings, she enrolled her son, and things went on well enough for several months. Until one day the boy came home and said to his mother: “Blessed art thou among women!” She withdrew him immediately.

Rossella’s lack of religious instruction was displayed to the public one day at a museum in Milan. After seeing many paintings of the crucifixion, she said loudly (in Italian): “What does this guy think he’s doing? A balancing act?” All heads snapped around to get a look at the pagan three-year-old.

In elementary school, Ross again did the alternativa, reading myths and legends from around the world and drawing illustrations for them. They also studied a simplified version of the UN’s Convention on the Rights of the Child. There were three or four other kids in alternativa with Ross (at least one of whom was Muslim), but most of the class were doing catechism in preparation for their confirmation (cresima – chrism) at age 9 or so. In some parts of Italian society, confirmation is a very big deal, with a fancy dress for the girls, a restaurant lunch hosted by the family, and presents – a sort of mini-wedding.

Although many prefer less fanfare and expense, most families do choose for their children to go through la cresima; it’s a tradition, though it seems to have lost most of its meaning. One little girl told me firmly: “I’m only going through this so that I can have a church wedding later on. After that, they’ll never see me again.”

The school Ross attended for 6th and 7th grade was very religious. Ross agreed that she should take religion class, to learn about this part of her Italian cultural heritage. The textbook was definitely Catholic, but no mere catechism, and the teaching was not heavy-handed. When she changed schools in 8th grade, she again took religion, and did well in the class, which even discussed some other religions.

In smaller towns, many kids who are not particularly religious or Catholic opt to participate in religion classes, simply because everyone else does – no kid wants to be the weirdo. One American friend’s son even asked if he could do the cresima, so as not to be the only kid in the class who didn’t (he hadn’t been baptized Catholic, so I’m not sure if that was possible).

In Lecco, Ross decided to take religion, like everyone else. It’s taught by a priest, Don Maurizio, but I like his attitude. The first day of class he told them: “I’m not here to convert anybody.” His main aim is to provoke the kids to think and talk about moral and ethical issues. Ross is thoughtful and articulate in his class, so he likes her, and is her champion with the other teachers (who seem to be having trouble understanding her).

Scenes from the Fashion World

Milan, as someone is sure to tell you when you go there, is one of the fashion capitals of the world. This never affected my life there in any direct way (and I sometimes wonder about fashion’s real effects on everyday Milanese), but, during the spring and fall fashion weeks, the city is suddenly full of tall, skinny people, walking around purposefully with big binders under their arms. Some of them are indeed remarkably beautiful, but it’s surprising how ordinary many of them look, without the makeup. Except for being impossibly tall and skinny.

Some years ago, on the Milan metro, I witnessed the following scene:

Three young Italian men boarded the train. They were reasonably good-looking and stylishly dressed, buttoned up for warmth in their trendy new black leather jackets, their hair artfully combed and gelled. They talked loudly, clearly wanting to draw attention to their own utter coolness. A couple of stops later, the doors slid open, and in glided two more young men. Not Italian, possibly American – they didn’t say a word, so I couldn’t guess by the language. They weren’t extremely tall, but they were built. Their scuffed-up leather jackets were draped negligently, hanging half off their muscular shoulders. Their jeans were casually torn and maybe a bit grimy. Their manes of dark blond hair were tousled. They flung themselves across four seats, sprawling elegantly, every movement and body angle exuding: “We’re so gorgeous, we don’t have to do anything to attract your attention but just BE here.”

The three young Italians got very quiet and very small. At the next stop, they slunk off the train without a word.

Colpo di Fumo

wrote earlier about Italian superstitions, including the dreaded colpo d’aria – a draft of cold air, blamed for everything from head colds to paralysis. Zeev responded:

“Christmas of ’87 was the first time I went to Italy. At that time I was living in Ticino [the Italian part of Switzerland] for an extended period; I have good memories from the area, but being in Mendrisio in the evenings is like being alone in the desert. A few days before Christmas, I realized that being there during the holiday season would be even worse, so I decided to use the time to see some people in Germany and Sweden.

I took the train to Cologne. The cars were full of happy Italians travelling north for a vacation. There was one drawback to the company: everybody was smoking heavily. I had quit smoking about 10 years earlier, and had difficulty with smoke. I asked them to do me a favor and stop smoking in the compartment, but their understanding of the situation was that it was my problem, so I should leave the compartment — which of course wouldn’t solve a thing, as the corridors were also full of smoking Italians. So I opened the window. To my surprise, everybody fled the compartment within seconds. Now I finally know why: colpo d’aria.”


I wish that approach worked for me. We often find ourselves surrounded by smokers at restaurants, but occasionally we also happen to be near a window. If we open it, however, someone is bound to whine about the corrente (draft), a complaint which is always considered reasonable, whereas our complaining about smoke is not taken in the same spirit. One of the few things I miss about life in the United States, and especially California, is the lack of smoke. I will be relieved when Europe catches up.

Which may take a while. Italian restaurateurs are up in arms over a new anti-smoking law, due to come into effect next January, which will force them to create ventilated smoking areas physically separated from non-smoking areas.

A few larger restaurants already have non-smoking sections, though it can be difficult to get seated in them. One place we used to frequent had such an area, but closed it off sometimes when there was a shortage of waiters. Recently, at another restaurant, they didn’t want to seat only three of us in the non-smoking section, because the tables were set for four or five. I had to insist that we were non-fumatori accaniti (ferocious non-smokers). One very good pizzeria near our former home in Milan never had a problem seating us in one of its two large non-smoking rooms, though these were always more crowded than the smoking area. It seems that there is unmet demand, even in Italy, for smoke-free dining.

Sadly, smoking is still very much in vogue here, and socially accepted even for 13- and 14-year-olds. Many kids consider it a declaration of adulthood, and begin as soon as they reach high school, if not earlier. As far as I can tell, their parents don’t even try to combat it, and tobacconists have no qualms about selling cigarettes to young kids. Rossella is one of few non-smokers in her class (students are allowed to smoke on school grounds, although, as of this year, not inside the building); by now she’s made such a fuss about her friends smoking that she’d look like a complete idiot if she ever tried it (good!).


Feb 9, 2004

From March 1st, smoking will be completely banned on all Eurostar and Intercitytrains in Italy. It is already banned on all most regional (local) trains, which leads to scenes of smokers lined up at the door, cigarettes already in hand, as the train pulls into the station. They barely get one foot on the platform before they light up, one after another, hurrying away in a desperately-puffing line.


Apr 16, 2004

I’m pretty certain that Italy’s new rules about non-smoking sections in restaurants will only come into force next January, but, to my surprise and delight, several of our favorite restaurants have already gone completely non-smoking. It appears that some restaurant owners and staff were glad to have the excuse. I wish Austria were as forward-looking. We didn’t get to enjoy any of Vienna’s centuries-famous coffee bars; every one we stepped into reeked of stale smoke and beer. So we ended up at Starbucks, that bastion of American cultural imperialism, where smoking was not allowed.


Apr 27, 2004

I finally asked a bar owner why some bars and restaurants have already gone totally non-smoking; I thought the law didn’t go into effect til next year. He explained that the law actually went into effect THIS January, requiring all public places to have a completely separate and ventilated room for smokers, or to ban smoking completely. Those who choose to separate out the smokers have a year’s grace period in which to do the construction; those who have no such intention are supposed to already be completely non-smoking. Of course, this being Italy, there are probably some (many?) who have not yet done anything and will claim, if asked, that they intend to build a smoking section by next January, when in fact they have no such intention (or ability — some places are simply too small), and are just buying themselves and their smoking customers another year.

Interestingly, the recent ban on smoking in pubs in Ireland seems to have gone down well, in spite of strident protests before it went into effect. It was widely supported before the fact by the union of pub employees, and many customers seem now to find that they actually prefer their pubs without smoke. The die-hards are reportedly organizing booze-and-smoking parties in their own homes, which will cause the pubs to lose business (and the neighbors to complain), but won’t damage the alcohol industry.

Hardworking Italians

I’ve seen several reports recently of studies showing that Italians have more vacation days than anyone else in the world, except maybe the French. Most regularly-employed Italians during a year enjoy some long weekends, even longer Christmas and Easter breaks, and several weeks’ vacation in the summer. However, I’d like to see a study of total HOURS worked in a year. A normal workday for many is 8 or 9 am to 8 or 9 pm, and the leisurely two-hour lunch is a thing of the past, at least in northern Italy. A senior manager in Milan to whom I was teaching English last year worked from 9 am to 8 pm, Monday through Friday, with only a half-hour break for lunch. When anti-smoking rules were enforced, it was a real problem for him to take a five-minute break every two hours to go out and have a cigarette. Plus, he worked every Saturday from 9 to 1. By the time he got away on vacation, he certainly needed and deserved it.