The Bullying Expert

original

From what is now my class, about 5 kids were expelled last year, for a series of misunderstandings which caused them to beat bloody two younger kids the last night of the last school year.

The new kids, we of the SAGE program, found ourselves in an atmosphere of “mourning,” nostalgia for classmates to whom everyone had had to say goodbye. We went through a strange phase: the old students avoided new acquaintances, perhaps because they had not yet got over the pain of having lost some old ones.

The school, still traumatized by this episode of violence, called in an expert to help, a teacher with I didn’t understand what other kind of qualification. The woman [Barbara Coloroso] has written various books on themes such as “Kids are worth it!” and similar idiocies, in which she invents terms and categorizes families and their ways of raising children. (Un)fortunately for us, she has also written a book on adolescent violence, saying that we can be victims, the sadist who torments the victim, or the silent witnesses. All are guilty, all must be disciplined but NOT punished (although she did not explain very well how these two things differ).

This completely American decisive approach disgusted me. An idiot who gets up on a stage believing she’s the messiah, repeating the same things over and over. Many students slept, some tried to discuss their own experiences as tormented victims (without success), and others, or better, THE UNDERSIGNED, enjoyed themselves contradicting her and trying to help her realize that she CONTRADICTS HERSELF!

But, look at the plus side, at least our minds were stimulated and everyone, in our own ways, thought about these themes.

But – what am I saying, the school was so fixated on our need to communicate with this blessed woman that homework was abolished for a week! This is certainly a positive side.

The schoolday yesterday ended early to leave time for the intramural cross-country races.

The students are divided into three houses: Merlin (red), Eagle (blue) and Condor (green, the best – that includes me).

We’re divided into groups of 2 or 3 grades and, with our t-shirts in house colors, we run. The motivation to do this comes from the fact that just participating, finishing the course within a certain time, earns 3 points for the house and, if your house wins, you can look forward to a great deal of enthusiasm and a sense of pride and superiority.

So I and my white friends (we call ourselves this, we’re a minority!), both runners and non, tied up our hair, put on our gym shoes, and painted our faces green. I realized I had done something stupid after the first 100 meters, which I did running fast for some absurd reason. A) I have never run [a race] in my life; B) there’s less oxygen at this altitude, half the course was uphill and see point A) again; C) the course was at least two kilometers!

At some point during the race my legs began to refuse to run, and, when I tried to keep going, the sensation that I was about to vomit out my lungs was very strong. I was too embarrassed to let everyone pass me, so I developed a technique of running in the downhill parts and walking fast on the climbs. When I passed the part where there was a group of Condor fans who yelled for any green t-shirt, I ran uphill – fast – biting my tongue the whole time and drying up all the adrenaline my body could produce. I felt the muscles of my calves detach themselves one by one, leaving a wake of flesh behind me. Around the curve, where no one can see me anymore, I start to cough and felt a slight taste of blood in my mouth. I continue to walk and trot, panting. After what seemed like an agonizing eternity: the finish line, small, far away. A girl has caught up with me and is at my side. NO! My little legs stretch as far as they can and, at top speed, my arms bent like a Barbie’s, going back and forth, ever faster. Downhill, finish line, knees hold on!, GO CONDORS! GO ROSS!

Finish line. Photo. Certificate. 23rd. I made the grade. Okay, it was a crappy placing, but I earned points and, considering that I never ran a race in my life, I’m proud of myself.

Dripping sweat and green paint, swaying, I head towards my little man who, while watching my backpack, has let himself be distracted by Pink Floyd on my iPod and forgot to watch me cross the finish line.

“Ah, you’re here! Are you already finished?”

“[…]”

“WHAT? You placed? Brava!”

Then he gets me juice and biscuits, he gives me an earpiece of the iPod, and lets me rest my head on his knees, at the risk of green spots on his trousers.

“You know you’ll never see me this calm again, except when I sleep.” [I say.]

*smile* “I know…”

MomComm: Re. the bullying expert, I should point out that Ross has been raised in a culture (Italy) and a family which are both extremely skeptical of Americanate [American stuff] such as self-help books, TV psychologists, etc. And I must say in favor of the Italian school system: bullying is extremely rare. Sadly, it is increasing, but Italian schools seem to be designed to promote social cohesion. Ross has never witnessed even verbal bullying on the scale common in American schools, so she may be underestimating the usefulness of the author’s message in other contexts.

That said, I am not sure myself how much this American author’s experience can be applied to Woodstock. The school has zero tolerance on bullying, a fact which never needed to be stated in earlier years. If this was not an isolated incident, we certainly need to understand what is changing in the school’s student culture and take steps to counteract it. I hope that flying in this expert from the US proves to have been useful.

Opinionated

original

Ross’s paradise

something quite other than the candy store

Guess how I spend my modest monthly allowance?

Today I’m too pissed off to write.

Everyone hates me because I’m ‘too opinionated’.

Is it my fault if I know I’m always right and I use every means to make myself understood? And who says I can’t change people??

MomComm: Hmm. I can’t imagine where she gets it from. (Yes, she is being somewhat ironic…)

isn’t she lovely

The Twitter Diaries: August, 2007

12 or earlier: http://www.fotolog.com/rossella/19953061 – Ross is back on fotolog, first pix from India

Ross LIKES SCHOOL. For the first time EVER.

Ross just called from school. Amazing. In my day we barely had phones and they didn’t work!

why does everything I eat in America give me gas?

back to another afternoon of videotaping Leadville training. with maybe a lab visit – whee! (I’m such a geek)

I feel good, I knew that I would yeah. No, really, I do! Productive day, about to go for happy hour with a bunch of geneticists

aiuto! cercasi linguisti italiani: http://tinyurl.com/23957c

cultural differences: Ross’ new English teacher thanked her for commenting in class. Her Italian lit teacher told her she thinks too much

Define, refine, redefine. My life has changed, is changing – radically. And that’s good. It was time.

@pippawilson – l’evaporated milk si trova all’Esselunga, credo si chiami latte evaporato (o condensato?). Cmq il lattino e’ uguale

only been away 2 weeks and my Italian is going to hell. It’s losing brain space to Solaris storage software.

bracing myself for two more hours of filming highly technical training. I think I must be learning something…

contemplating driving to New Mexico next weekend. 6 hours. Far more than I’ve driven in years. It’s an adventure, right?

2 million things to do, too brain-dead to do any of them. Waiting for my massage – yay!

had a very good massage, immediately followed by a piece of potentially very good news. Now dinner with an old friend. A good day all in all

per chi volesse seguire le avventure di Rossella in India, e’ tornata alla grande su fotolog: http://www.fotolog.com/rossella

when geeks do urban planning: https://www.beginningwithi.com/

@mafe anche mia flglia e’ leoncina, oggi 18enne! festeggiando in India.

coppia italo-americana cerca nome per un figlio in arrivo. Chi li puo’ aiutare? http://tinyurl.com/2c43po

13: hiked 7 miles in Rocky Mountain National park yesterday – much harder than we anticipated, joints sore today. The pines are dying. Very sad.

interesting times: http://tinyurl.com/29w9sm

14: winding down after a long, busy day. Saturday passed by a famous site: http://www.fotolog.com/deirdrestraughan/25304286

on today’s menu: video production planning, wiki work, meetings, metrics, and a movie… beh, almeno qui c’e’ l’aria condizionata!

15: good morning from not-sunny Broomfield, Colorado! I do not have enough caffeine in my system yet…

buon ferragosto agli Italiani, happy independence day to the Indians! (Ross wears a sari for the first time today, singing Jana Gana Mana)

16: Ross celebrates Independence Day: http://www.fotolog.com/rossella/20157674

my new playground: http://wikis.sun.com/display/StorageAdmin/Home

@kitykity Ah, but have you been one of those women? I’m not a screamer in any other situation, but when you haven’t seen a friend in 20 yrs

just had a filling replaced. Good thing I wasn’t in Italy – would not have found a dentist working this week! Cheaper here, too.

@blublog – non avevi mai sentito “Stuck in the Middle with You”?? Mi sento vecchia. Mi sa’ che l’originale era di Stealer’s Wheel.

17: trying to figure out my very complicated life. I don’t TRY to be the exception to every rule. I just am!

this is one happy kid: http://www.fotolog.com/rossella/20181328 We’re finally doing something right!

@abeggi – she’s at my school and wearing my jewelry! And if she’s learned a thing or two about communication from Mom – not surprising!

I give up. Taking antibiotics for what is probably a sinus infection tho it behaves very differently in this dry climate.

18: The Silent Screams of Dying Trees: https://www.beginningwithi.com/travel/070812a.html

just took a whole bunch of great photos at a flea market in New Mexico, but don’t have my cable with me to download them!

also bought some great t-shirts with the Virgen de Mexico

@louordorica we will all sneeze together when we sneeze? <grin>

@caseymckinnon – I suspect that you got quite a lot of the netosphere panting at the thought of a dream with you and Zadi in it!

20: welcome aboard @igorminar – now you’re in trouble! ; )

just back from a fantastic weekend in New Mexico – old friends in new places, what could be better? Photos and video soon!

@cristianconti Zecchino d’Oro omiodio – falle ascoltare della musica vera, altrimenti impazzerai con Cretina LaScema e bella compagnia…

turista americana chiede consigli sulla sicurezza a Firenze e Milano; potreste rispondere? http://tinyurl.com/2aa7n2

“everyone” says Mac is better than Windows for video editing. But has anyone actually USED both to really compare?

okay: tonight I miss Ross so badly I can hardly breathe. Why tonight in particular? Dunno. Maybe being at the home of friends who have kids

21: whuff, long day! I’ll be going to California (1st time since 2001) ~09/06-16. This will be interesting. @schlomo – time for that drink!

@lskrocki – You knew I was a troublemaker, right? ; )

Roasted Green Chiles at the Las Vegas Flea Market: https://www.beginningwithi.com/travel/070818a.html

22: spectacular monsoon shot: http://www.fotolog.com/rossella/20297274

23:

for those who’d like to follow Ross’ adventures in English, I’ve been translating (with her permission): https://www.beginningwithi.com/W …

plans set: in Calif Sept 5-17, of which 8th-13th in/around San Jose, rest in SFO. Who will be around?

translating Ross’ writing – too mind-shot to write anything original of my own

24:

my head is spinning – so much to do! I’ll be downloading and compressing video all weekend!

25:

quiet Saturday to myself, and that’s okay. Had my nails done. Movie this evening.

pre-ordering TV shows on DVD to bring home to Italy. When I go…

I’ll have a lot of Economists to catch up on when I get home. This is both good and bad.

did I mention that my life is going to be totally different when I get back to Italy (in Sept) from what it was before I left (in July)?

26:

a pleasant day mostly alone (except for phone calls). Downloaded hours of video. Ate sushi. Saw HP5 again (no subtitles, yay!), now to bed

ev’rybody knows I love my toes: https://www.beginningwithi.com/

a fast, winding drive into the mountains today left me limp. I wish someone else had been driving so I could have enjoyed the view!

27:

@michaelverdi Dylan in high school! Go Dylan! I bet she won’t take crap from anyone (and good for her).

time to have a shower, coffee, breakfast – and go to work. Which is very, very close now that I’m in a hotel.

@lskrocki taking your advice and going to Taos this wknd. Any advice on a B&B?

Ross called y’day to say she landed the role of “the maid mad to marry” in “The Taming of the Shrew”. Now can’t get that song out of my head

waiting for a video to finish compressing so I can go home. About to give up.

hmm. gonna be a lot cooler in SFO. Good thing I brought some warmies. Now what about Taos and San Jose?

@davidhowell I have seen American teenagers in AIRPORTS in what looked to me like flannel pajamas – at least the bottoms were. Seems rude.

28:

I keep waking up from nightmares. What’s up with that?

last night’s lack of sleep making itself felt

@nicolamattina bisogna far vedere a ‘sti giovani come si balla davvero (e con quale musica!)

29:

initiating life changes

c’mon, caffeine, I need you to start working!

avrei bisogno di qualcuno che mi possa mettere su in casa una rete vera – shared printer, storage, backups, ecc. Windows, purtroppo…

@abeggi Lecco. Bed & breakfast (& lunch & dinner) compreso!

30: wish I was in Mussoorie (India). For many reasons. But I’ll have to make do with Taos. Living the life that only I could live…

okay, ‘m definitely doing too much… SO glad I’m taking a long weekend break. I foresee many margaritas in my near future. Better be!

squeezing video, translating Ross’ fotolog (more), getting ready to go pick up my friend at the airport. Vacation! 4 days better than none.

Deirdré Straughan on Italy, India, the Internet, the world, and now Australia