Aggiungi un Posto a Tavola: Consolazione

All this God-inspired romance is interrupted by the arrival of a travelling prostitute named Consolazione –


– with that name, she could be a denizen of Dogpatch! – who distracts all the men from their wives, apparently because it’s their last chance for an extramarital fling.

Uomini, eccomi! Men, here I am!
E’ arrivata Consolazione Consolation has arrived.
Consolazione di nome e di fatto “Consolation” by name and in fact
Per consolarvi ho certi argomenti I have certain ways to console you
Prova per credere Try it to believe it
Facciamo un patto Let’s make a deal:
Se dopo voi non restate contenti If afterwards you aren’t content,
Sulla parola di Consolazione vi rimborso la consumazione! On the word of Consolation, your money back!
Mando il mondo in visibilio, tutti chiedono di me I cause the world to …, everyone asks for me
L’avventura a domicilio “Adventure at home”
L’ho inventata e sai perché I invented it, and you know why
È una vera vocazione It’s a true vocation
A nessuno dico no I don’t say no to anyone
E se vuoi consolazione and if you want consolation
Me la chiedi You ask me –
Te la do* and I give it.
Se per colpa degli eventi If because of [by fault of] events
sei più triste di un cipresso you are sadder than a cypress
e la sera tu ti senti And in the evening you feel
malinconico e depresso melancholy and depressed
se per questa depressione If because of this depression
il morale tuo sta giù Your morale is down
tu vieni da tu vieni da Consolazione You come to, you come to Consolation
e lei te lo ritira su! And she’ll pull it back up for you!
Un due tre One, two, three
UOMINI Prima a me MEN: Me first!
Quattro cinque sei Four, five, six
UOMINI Comincia da me MEN: Start with me
sei sette otto, chi è senza biglietto Six, seven, eight. Who doesn’t have a ticket?
UOMINI io io io! MEN: Me me me!
Si faccia pure sotto**, sotto sopra in qualsiasi posizione Step right up [it’s done below], below, above, in any position
L’importante è non dire mai di no The important thing is never to say no
E se vuoi Consolazione and if you want Consolation
UOMINI La vogliamo MEN: We want it/her!
Aho ve la do! Oh, and I’ll give it to you!
dialog: Toto’ asks what she’s selling.

“This!” she says, showing her breasts.

“I only see a pair of zinne,” he responds.

“What did you expect me to have – four?”

Mi vuoi esotica o nostrana Do you want me exotic or local
turca greca russa o indù Turk, Greek, Russian or Hindu
Preferisci l’egiziana Do you prefer the Egyptian
Faccio tutto, scegli tu! I do everything, you choose!
E per te Consolazione egiziana diverrà And for you Consolation will become Egyptian
Tutankà tutankà tutankamera veniteme a trovà! Tutan[khamen]… [everything in the room] – come up and see me!
UOMINI Consolazione Consolaziò-ò-ò men: Consolation
Tu sei l’ultima occasione You’re the last chance/last sale
Non possiamo dire no We can’t say no
Voglio la Consolazione I want Consolation!
La volete? You want it?
Io ve la dooooooooo, siiii I’ll give it to you, yes!
Consolazione consolazione, dammi tutto tutto dammi consolazione!
Consolation, give me everything, give me consolation.

* Te la do – “I’ll give it to you” – to give “it” is used as a euphemism for a woman to give sex.

God, however, has something up his sleeve to take care of this little setback. Toto, the (unmarried) village idiot, has been hanging about the sidelines of this scene, too dense to know what to do with a woman. God suddenly gives him the necessary knowledge, and he shoulders aside the other villagers to reach Consolation, who takes one look at his, er, talents, and closes the door on everyone else, leaving them to go back to their wives.

next: Notte Per Non Dormire 2

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