Category Archives: bio

Memorabilia: The Little Man in the Boxes

In my many moves around the world, I have brought with me a few items that remind me of specific times, places, people, and adventures in my life. This painting is one such.

While we lived in Thailand, my parents acquired some interesting pieces of original and local art, which moved with us and formed a familiar backdrop to our homes from Bangkok to Pittsburgh to Connecticut. We did not take much when we moved to Bangladesh in 1976, most of it went into storage. Sometime while I was attending the University of Texas at Austin, our household goods were moved from storage in Connecticut to my aunt’s property in Texas, where our old dishware may still be languishing in a disused falling-down barn full of rattlesnakes. I later rescued a few items, including the above which had been painted by our family friend Irma, an artist who owned a Scandinavian design shop in Bangkok.

Irma hailed from one of the Nordic countries but had been in Thailand for a while. She lived in a big house with her daughter Hanna, often hosting parties for other expats – wannabe hippies like my parents, and some US military stationed or taking R&R leave from Vietnam in Bangkok.

I never heard whether there was any particular story around this painting or who the man was, but I’ve always been fond of him, sitting there looking so diffident in his blue suit and shiny shoes. He now hangs in my office.

The drab colors in this painting were not typical of Irma’s style. Thai markets in those years sold paper mache animals large and strong enough for a child to sit on, although they were hollow and hence not heavy. There was a slot in the animal’s back so you could use it as a piggy bank (you would have to break it to extract your money). There were elephants, pigs, tigers, etc., painted as close to natural colors as could be achieved with shiny paint, the elephants grey, caparisoned in red and gold, the tigers orange with black stripes.

Irma would turn these animals psychedelic. She gifted us with an elephant painted day-glo yellow, with big pink daisies on its ears and other decorations all over its body. We also had from her a life-sized human figure, painted white? I don’t remember. The elephant plus a pig and a tiger we bought ourselves were mine to play with. (They didn’t survive much beyond the first big move when we left Thailand in 1972.)

The mannequin stood in my parents’ “study”, a room dedicated to getting high in. They had the walls painted flat black, then put up popular posters including the infamous Wally Wood Disney Orgy (NSFW!). That was my first exposure to the classic Disney characters, which may explain my dislike of them. Other posters displayed popular memes of the day:  “Today is the first day of the rest of your life” (later co-opted by a cereal ad) and “War is not good for children and other living things.” I was allowed to stick a trail of day-glo colored dots with footprints on them all across the walls. I loved stickers, still do.

Although the soi (lane) we lived in and the apartment complex next door were largely rented to expats, I didn’t have any friends nearby for most of my five years in Bangkok. Hanna was only two years older than me, so I was always happy to go to Irma’s house to hang out with her while the grownups were getting stoned. Hanna delighted in hiding around corners and jumping out to scare me – she got me every time, and I hated it. The original concept album of “Jesus Christ Superstar” came out in 1970 and was a smash hit with my parents and their crowd. I liked it, too, but I didn’t care much for the song “I Don’t Know How to Love Him”, which Hanna therefore sang to me often. Perhaps she wasn’t an ideal friend, but she was one of the few I saw regularly, and I was a lonely child. Outside of school, I spent more of my time around adults than kids.

In 1971, Irma threw a Christmas Eve party for a bunch of expat friends. Below are photos that I took of the event. It’s odd now to remember how everyone smoked so freely (cigarettes as well as joints).

B&W - in the foreground a woman looks down, smiling. She has curly light hair. Beyond her is another woman with dark mid-length hair loose over her shoulders, looking abstracted
B&W - a long table of guests at a Christmas party. Irma with short curly hair wearing a Finnish traditional costume, seated at the end of the table, looks to the camera. Her daughter Hannah stands next to her, hands on hips, apparently berating. Behind Hanna is a Thai man with a glass of something on a tray. Other guests eat and look
B&W Dinner table with various Christmast guests, tinsel streamers and stars hang form the ceiling. A black man at the end of the table with an afro wears sunglasses and has a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Another (white) man has a necklace of dark beads and white animal fangs or claws. Irma stands overlooking the table
B&W Christmas dinner with a long table of guests. One man has a mustache and is smoking a cigar
B&W - two men and two women sit on or in front of a sofa. A woman with glasses and a headscarf on is opening a gift. The man in a dark shirt with black and white animal print trousers gazes into the distance, smoking a cigarette or a joint. A man with a mustache curled up at the ends looks the other way. A woman on the floor in a "peasant" dress or blouse looks pensive, cigarette held to her mouth
B&W - a woman sitting on the floor looks at a papier mache bird painted and decorated with beads that has been gifted to her for Christmas. In the foreground a hand holding a cigarette, other people seen from the waist down in the background wearing hippie fashions - one pair of white trousers, one pair of (probably jeans), one "peasant" skirt
The bird here was an Irma original, made of paper mache, brightly painted, and decorated with beads on wires

OMG I’ve found Irma. she’s still in Bangkok (or was in 2017).

My Quilt

One of my favorite teachers at Woodstock School was Kathleen Forance, our art teacher. I had long been as much of an artist as I could manage , mostly drawing and coloring. Kathleen got me into textile arts: embroidery, batik, weaving.

My first experiments in embroidery included small scenes from my own life (or my imagined life). In perhaps the very first, I showed myself in bed under a multicolored quilt. That was my inspiration to make a quilt.

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7 Horrifying Facts About Chemotherapy

I originally wrote this in January 2016 and submitted it to Cracked.com, which I was greatly enjoying at the time. Never heard back from them, so here it is.

There are about a bazillion different types of cancer. Not all of them require or even benefit from chemotherapy, but, when we hear “cancer”, chemo is what we tend to immediately think of, and fear the most. Except, of course, dying.

I have “difficult” breasts, and I’ve had cancer scares before. Each time, the most frightening possible outcome, to me, was chemo (yes, chemo scared me more than death). My nightmare finally came true: in late 2014 I was diagnosed with breast cancer requiring surgery and then chemotherapy (followed by radiation and hormonal therapy).

While chemotherapy may well save my life (we’ll get to that), it has proved in some ways to be almost as bad as I’d feared – and, in other ways, even worse. 

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Women in Tech and the 2016 US election

Note: This piece was originally drafted in March 2017, but for some reason I never got around to publishing it. If Kamala Harris does become the Democratic candidate this year, everything I wrote back then will be even more true – and worse with the racism that will accompany it.

The US election was taking a toll on women even before its hideous denouement last November.

The constant, blatant misogyny against Hillary expressed by both left and right was exhausting. We could see ourselves in her: working harder, being more prepared, having done all her homework (and everyone else’s) yet being judged on her hair, her makeup, her clothing. Being told she was too shrill, too combative, too much like someone’s mother. Not nice enough.

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A Theater-Goer’s Diary: Anything Goes

Enrico and I saw this show with Patti LuPone at a Sunday matinee in 1988. It was the start of our Cole Porter obsession.

I had bought tickets at the last minute and we somehow ended up front row center. The stage, only about 4 feet above the level of our seats, represented the deck of an ocean liner, complete with a railing.

When we arrived to take our seats, I had been puzzled at a rectangle of soft foam taped to the floor more or less under my feet. Later in the show we learned what that was for: there’s a scene in which two characters are leaning on the rail talking, swigging from a bottle of champagne. They finish the bottle and drop it over the rail – cue sound effect of bottle falling and finally splashing. It landed on our feet.

Continue reading A Theater-Goer’s Diary: Anything Goes