How the Swiss play hockey – now that’s macho! (Actually, it’s a safe sex/anti AIDS poster, with the slogan “You also need protection here.”)
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Aggiungi un Posto a Tavola: Consolazione
All this God-inspired romance is interrupted by the arrival of a travelling prostitute named Consolazione –
Consolation– with that name, she could be a denizen of Dogpatch! – who distracts all the men from their wives, apparently because it’s their last chance for an extramarital fling. |
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| Uomini, eccomi! | Men, here I am! | |
| E’ arrivata Consolazione | Consolation has arrived. | |
| Consolazione di nome e di fatto | “Consolation” by name and in fact | |
| Per consolarvi ho certi argomenti | I have certain ways to console you | |
| Prova per credere | Try it to believe it | |
| Facciamo un patto | Let’s make a deal: | |
| Se dopo voi non restate contenti | If afterwards you aren’t content, | |
| Sulla parola di Consolazione vi rimborso la consumazione! | On the word of Consolation, your money back! | |
| Mando il mondo in visibilio, tutti chiedono di me | I cause the world to …, everyone asks for me | |
| L’avventura a domicilio | “Adventure at home” | |
| L’ho inventata e sai perché | I invented it, and you know why | |
| È una vera vocazione | It’s a true vocation | |
| A nessuno dico no | I don’t say no to anyone | |
| E se vuoi consolazione | and if you want consolation | |
| Me la chiedi | You ask me – | |
| Te la do* | and I give it. | |
| Se per colpa degli eventi | If because of [by fault of] events | |
| sei più triste di un cipresso | you are sadder than a cypress | |
| e la sera tu ti senti | And in the evening you feel | |
| malinconico e depresso | melancholy and depressed | |
| se per questa depressione | If because of this depression | |
| il morale tuo sta giù | Your morale is down | |
| tu vieni da tu vieni da Consolazione | You come to, you come to Consolation | |
| e lei te lo ritira su! | And she’ll pull it back up for you! | |
| Un due tre | One, two, three | |
| UOMINI Prima a me | MEN: Me first! | |
| Quattro cinque sei | Four, five, six | |
| UOMINI Comincia da me | MEN: Start with me | |
| sei sette otto, chi è senza biglietto | Six, seven, eight. Who doesn’t have a ticket? | |
| UOMINI io io io! | MEN: Me me me! | |
| Si faccia pure sotto**, sotto sopra in qualsiasi posizione | Step right up [it’s done below], below, above, in any position | |
| L’importante è non dire mai di no | The important thing is never to say no | |
| E se vuoi Consolazione | and if you want Consolation | |
| UOMINI La vogliamo | MEN: We want it/her! | |
| Aho ve la do! | Oh, and I’ll give it to you! | |
| dialog: Toto’ asks what she’s selling.
“This!” she says, showing her breasts. “I only see a pair of zinne,” he responds. “What did you expect me to have – four?” |
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| Mi vuoi esotica o nostrana | Do you want me exotic or local | |
| turca greca russa o indù | Turk, Greek, Russian or Hindu | |
| Preferisci l’egiziana | Do you prefer the Egyptian | |
| Faccio tutto, scegli tu! | I do everything, you choose! | |
| E per te Consolazione egiziana diverrà | And for you Consolation will become Egyptian | |
| Tutankà tutankà tutankamera veniteme a trovà ! | Tutan[khamen]… [everything in the room] – come up and see me! | |
| UOMINI Consolazione Consolaziò-ò-ò | men: Consolation | |
| Tu sei l’ultima occasione | You’re the last chance/last sale | |
| Non possiamo dire no | We can’t say no | |
| Voglio la Consolazione | I want Consolation! | |
| La volete? | You want it? | |
| UOMINI Si! | Yes! | |
| Io ve la dooooooooo, siiii | I’ll give it to you, yes! | |
| UOMINI Consolazione consolazione, dammi tutto tutto dammi consolazione! |
Consolation, give me everything, give me consolation. | |
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* Te la do – “I’ll give it to you” – to give “it” is used as a euphemism for a woman to give sex. God, however, has something up his sleeve to take care of this little setback. Toto, the (unmarried) village idiot, has been hanging about the sidelines of this scene, too dense to know what to do with a woman. God suddenly gives him the necessary knowledge, and he shoulders aside the other villagers to reach Consolation, who takes one look at his, er, talents, and closes the door on everyone else, leaving them to go back to their wives. next: Notte Per Non Dormire 2 |
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Milan: Sant’Ambrogio by Night
Though not as grand as theDuomo, Sant’Ambrogio, named for Milan’s patron saint, is older, and decorated with bits of Roman architecture even older than itself. All these shots were taken without flash or tripod.
more photos from Sant’Ambrogio
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Roman Street Signs
During the Imaging in Italy course I attended in Rome in October, 2003, I was much taken with the ancient signage I found all over – both the lettering and the language were charmingly antique.
Several were on the theme of “do not litter”, in this case “on pain of ten scudi (coins) each time”, by authority of “The President of the Streets”
– a grandiose title, in some cases further amplified with epithets like “illustrious” and “righteous”.
^ It appears that it was at some period customary to put a plate on your home indicating who insured it! Note that both of these logos are still familiar in the modern Italian insurance industry.
This plaque denotes one of the ancient quarters (rione) of the city, with its symbol, a gryphon.
Digital Camera Fixes: When Your Camera Jams, Try Fixing It Yourself
We now have three digital cameras in the family (not counting cellphones). The first was a Nikon Coolpix 775, purchased in New York for $500 in early 2002. I can’t remember how many megapixels it has, but certainly its capabilities are unimpressive by today’s standards. It takes a proprietary rechargeable battery, of which I’ve bought two more as the first one won’t hold much of a charge anymore.
Two Christmases ago, Ross’ uncle Bruno got her, at her request, a Canon point-and-shoot. It ended up being a fairly expensive model, in part because I had suggested getting something that used the same Compact Flash memory as my Nikon. It takes rechargeable AA cells – much cheaper to replace when needed. It also offers more megapixels, so requires larger memory cards…
A year ago October, during the day in Varenna when I shot a lot of both video and photos, my Nikon jammed with its lens out, showing “System Error” on the screen. All the basic fiddling I could think of (battery in and out, memory card in and out, on and off in all positions…) did not solve the problem. I even opened it up and took a look, but the lens assembly was not in a position I could get to without doing damage.
A Google search revealed that this model of Nikon was particularly known for the dreaded System Error, but this problem arose over time, usually after the warranty expired, so I could not have known about it when I bought the camera. Repairs were likely to cost more than the camera was worth, especially since I had bought it in the US and would have to send it back there for repair.
I sadly put the camera away in my pile of electronic junk (SCSI cables, anyone?), thinking vaguely that I might sell it for parts on eBay.
I concentrated instead on video, very occasionally borrowing Ross’ Canon, and, when desperate, using the camera in the cellphone that Ross and Enrico got me for my birthday last year – only when desperate because the quality isn’t good, and it costs me 50 cents to send a picture from my cellphone to my email. In fact, I only ever started doing so as a result of a one-month-free offer from Vodafone, but since that gave out, I have done it very rarely.
I missed having a decent still camera, and was tempted by the ever-cheaper new models available. Especially when, this summer, my videocamera also gave out. It suddenly couldn’t record or play back a tape without a lot of horizontal lines in it. I wrote to Canon USA (I had purchased it in Las Vegas) and they said it was a known manufacturing defect that entitled me to free repair. That was the good news. The bad news was that this was only possible if I shipped it back to the US. Which set me back 60 euros for FedEx, but the rest was very kindly handled by the friends in DC with whom we’d be staying when we went in July, so I could pick up the repaired camera from them and not pay shipping again. But, until I got there, I was without a camera of any kind. I felt as if my hands had been cut off.
Ross had grown so keen on photography that I had decided that I would get her a digital SLR for her birthday, which would also allow me to borrow her point-and-shoot more often. We bought the camera (also a Canon) the day after her 17 th birthday, at New York’s famous B&H Photo, with the help of Woodstocker Amal. He spent half a day with us between the store and walking around showing Ross how to use her new treasure.
She’s been learning more and more about how to use it ever since, as can be observed on her fotolog. She’s even gotten some paying gigs, photographing parties and fashion shows at discos. Her next project, as a Christmas fundraiser for the charities supported by the nuns at her school, will be to take gag photos of kids at the school (e.g., “Your photo with Santa”) and charge them for the prints. Her class will raise money for printer ink and photographic paper, and I’m about to go help her with a spreadsheet to figure out what they need to raise and charge to make the whole project profitable.
A few days after we got the new Canon, the old Canon went on strike – jammed with its lens in the out position, just like the Nikon. I was furious – this one was just 18 months old! Another Google search turned up the information that these lens assemblies are cheaply made and prone to open crookedly and then jam. There was advice to try turning the lens gently and/or pressing on whichever side seemed to be sticking out more. I tried all of this, at some point heard a little click, and the lens slid back into its housing. It took the camera a few photographs to unscramble its brains and remember its job, and it’s been fine ever since.
A month or so later, back home in Lecco, I was clearing out junk and ran across the Nikon. Remembering my success with the Canon, I applied the same techniques. Click. Whirr. The lens, after a year, went back into place. And the camera has been working since – that’s why there are so many new photos on my site lately. It’s nice to be a photographer again.