When a Spell Checker Won’t Save You

70 million blogs, and thousands more “professional” news sources online, collectively produce billions of words every day. I rejoice that so many people are able to publish their thoughts and seek an audience, at low or no cost – information is good, freely shared information even better.

But I cringe at the abuses I see daily heaped upon the English language. Not “just” by bloggers, but also by journalists and others who should know better, working for news organizations that once upon a time had copy editors on staff.

Why should you care about excruciatingly correct grammar, spelling, and word use?

  • Anything less makes you look sloppy and amateurish, calling into question the reliability of your information. Rightly or wrongly, we are all trained to believe that information presented in polished prose is more authoritative, more likely to be accurate, than SMS-speak.
  • Poor writing is harder to understand than good, distracting the reader from the gist of your argument as she tries to tease out your meaning from a welter of poorly-chosen (or misspelled) words.

The very least you can do, as a courtesy to your readers, is to use a spelling checker – which is so easy that leaving misspelled words in your writing shows contempt for your readers and, indeed, your own work.

However, there are some kinds of mistakes that a spell check won’t catch: such as when a word is spelled correctly, but used in the wrong place. This happens most often with homonyms (words that sound the same but are spelled differently). Here are a few commonly-abused homonyms that you can easily learn to use properly:

affect effect impact

Affect

  • verb: to influence- “This product recall will adversely affect our profits.”
  • noun: an emotional state (mostly used by psychologists): “When I saw
    Mrs. Smith, she was quite depressed and had a flat affect.”

Effect

  • verb: to cause or bring about – “They managed to effect a compromise between the quarrelling parties.”
  • noun: a result – “Please don’t start drilling. That Novocaine has had no effect whatsoever.”

Impact used to be a noun: “The impact of his speech was enormous.”

Impact as a verb: Twenty years ago, the only thing that could be properly said to be impacted was a wisdom tooth or a bowel. Nowadays, everybody uses it as a verb (“That’s going to impact our bottom line”), a usage which has crept into the general language from bureaucratic Pentagon-speak. Ugh.

bated baited

bate means “1 : to reduce the force or intensity of : RESTRAIN <with bated breath>” (Webster’s online)

bait to entice or lure, as in fishing.

If you’re really waiting with “baited breath”, you just keep on waiting – ain’t nobody gonna kiss you!

flair flare

Flair is a noun, meaning a certain talent or ability: “As a child he had a flair for numbers, so he grew up to be an accountant.”

Flare is a verb, meaning to flame up: “Tempers flared on the field after the ref’s disastrous call.”

But it’s also a noun: “The soldiers broke the darkness by sending a flare into the sky.”

horde hoard

Horde, a noun, means a large group: “A horde of locusts descended upon the field.”

Hoard can be a verb, meaning to amass or hold aside something so as to accumulate a lot of it, or a noun – the mass so accumulated: “The dragon slept on his hoard of gold.”

(Confusingly, Genghis Khan’s Golden Horde refers to his army, not to any treasure they may have carried with them.)

its it’s

Any third-grade English teacher worth his or her salary should have taught you this, but it seems to be forgotten by many.

It’s true that ‘s indicates a possessive when tacked onto most nouns: “The boy’s ball was in the dog’s mouth.”

However, it’s is a special case: it’s a contraction for it is, just like he’s = he is, she’s = she is.

To indicate possession by an it, use its: “The dog had the ball in its mouth.”

lay lie

Lay is a transitive verb: you have to do it TO something: “Lay the gun down on the floor and move away slowly.”

It is often confused with lie, an intransitive verb meaning “to be or to stay at rest in a horizontal position“. Therefore, “Do you need to lay down for a nap?” is incorrect.

Don’t be confused by the children’s prayer “Now I lay me down to sleep” – lay is correct here because the child is (somewhat archaically) laying himself (his body) down. (That the child is then called upon to contemplate the possibility of his own death during the night strikes me as not likely to produce sweet dreams!)

lead lead led

NEW! (Because frequent mis-use of these is making me crazy.)

Lead, pronounced LEED, is the present tense verb, as in “to lead the pack.”

Spelled led and pronounced LED, it is the past tense of that same verb: “The old wolf led the pack until she died.”

Spelled lead and pronounced LED, it is a metal, as in “He killed Colonel Mustard with the lead pipe in the studio!”

Therefore, constructions such as “That question has lead a group of researchers to examine…” are WRONG.

peak peek pique

Peak is a noun for the top of a mountain: “Tenzing and Hilary scaled the peak of Everest.”

It can also be a verb, meaning to reach a height (from which you/it/something will then descend): “Brangelina fever peaked when…” – oh, who cares!

Peek can be a verb – to take a quick and/or clandestine look at something. In the UK, it’s synonymous with peep. “The children snuck down the stairs and peeked into the room to see what Santa had brought them.”

It can also be a noun: “Take a peek through this keyhole.”

Pique is most often used as a verb. Derived from the French piquer (to sting, prick, prod), it means to stimulate: “Her curiosity was piqued by the bartender’s odd behavior.”

But you can also have a fit of pique (irritation).

What you cannot do is to have a sneak peak (a sly mountaintop?) or to have your interest peaked (though your interest may peak of its own accord).

pore pour

Both are verbs, both can be used with “over”.

To pore over means to read or study attentively: “She pored over her notes for hours before the exam.”

To pour means to cause to flow in a stream: “He poured maple syrup over his pancakes.”

If your student is pouring over her notes, you’d better make her take a break!

pouringover

above: even the New York Times makes this mistake

prostate prostrate

The prostate is a strategically-placed male gland.

Prostrate is an adjective – (prone, lying on the ground: “They saw his prostrate form on the mountain path.”)) – or verb (to lie down on the ground, usually in front of somebody – “He prostrated himself before the golden idol.”)

Don’t confuse these two. The mental pictures conjured up are just too painful.

[free] reign or rein?

Reign is a noun meaning sovereignty or rulership: “During the reign of King Henry VIII…” Reins are what you attach to the bridle of a horse to steer by. “Free rein” means to give someone liberty to do as he likes. “Free reign” is an oxymoron.

I have not yet seen anyone offering “free rain,” and hope I never do!

tenants tenets

Tenants are the people who rent a place from you. Tenets are beliefs. You probably don’t hold core tenants, unless you need that rent money very badly.

than then

Than is a conjunction “introducing the second element in a comparison” (Webster’s New World Dictionary). “Mumbai is hotter than Miami.”

Then is an adverb, often (but not always) meaning “at that time” or “next in order of time”: ” “We’ll have dinner, then go to a movie.”

NEVER “I’m bigger then you are.”

their there they’re

Their – Possessive pronoun meaning “belonging to them”: “The kids wore their uniforms on the bus on the way to the ball game.”

There – That place: “When they got there, it was raining.”

They’re – Contraction for “they are”: “But now the sun’s out and they’re going to have a great game.”

theirs there’s

Theirs – Possessive pronoun again: “They said that no ball of theirs had ever had stitching like that.”

There’s – Contract for “there is”: “Now there’s going to be an investigation by the Little League.”

wreck havoc

The correct phrase is “wreak havoc”, wreak meaning “to cause,” “havoc” – devastation or disorder. To “wreck havoc” would presumably be a waste of time – havoc is already pretty much wrecked. To reek havoc? Let’s not even go there.

Here endeth the lesson. For today.

Feb 10 – Thanks to Jackson Day for the affect/effect grid and David Bratt-Pfotenhauer for some more pet peeves!

Learn Italian in Song: I Bambini Fanno Ooh

by Giuseppe Povia, 2006

This was a big hit last year. It’s so sweet it made me cry. The video is beautiful, too.

Linguistic note: Heavy (and appropriate) use here of the diminutive ending ino, which turns “noun” into “little noun”. This is often used as a form of baby talk when speaking to small children, as if everything in their lives is as little as they are. (I never used baby talk with any kid; I find it condescending, and suspect they do, too.)

E.g., topo = mouse, topolino = little mouse (which is also the name used for Mickey Mouse, a popular character in printed comics even today – it’s claimed that Mussolini said that they only thing he regretted about the embargo on US goods during WWII was that he could no longer see Topolino).

Quando i bambini fanno “oh” c’è un topolino When the children say “Oh, there’s a little mouse”
Mentre i bambini fanno “oh” c’è un cagnolino While the children say “Oh, there’s a little dog”
Se c’è una cosa che ora so’ If there’s one thing I know now
ma che mai più io rivedrò But that I’ll never see again
è un lupo nero che da un bacino It’s a black wolf giving a little kiss
a un agnellino To a little lamb
Tutti i bambini fanno “oh” All the children say “Oh,
dammi la mano give me your hand.
perchè mi lasci solo, Why do you leave me (all) alone?
sai che da soli non si può, You know that alone you can’t
senza qualcuno, Without someone
nessuno no one
può diventare un uomo can become a man.
Per una bambola o un robot bot bot For a doll or a robot-bot-bot
magari litigano un po’ Perhaps they fight a bit.
ma col ditino ad alta voce, But with their little finger, aloud
almeno loro (eh) At least they
fanno la pace Make peace.
Così ogni cosa è nuova In this way everything is new
è una sorpresa It’s a surprise
e proprio quando piove And just when it rains
i bambini fanno “oh” The children say “Oh!
guarda la pioggia Look at the rain!”
Quando i bambini fanno “oh” When the children say “Oh,
che meraviglia, che meraviglia! What a marvel!
ma che scemo vedi però, però But what an idiot, however,
che mi vergogno un po’ That I feel a bit ashamed
perchè non so più fare “oh” Because I no longer know how to say “Oh”
e fare tutto come mi piglia, And do everything as it takes me [just as I feel like]
perchè i bambini non hanno peli Because the children don’t have hairs
ne sulla pancia On their stomachs
ne sulla lingua Nor on their tongues
I bambini sono molto indiscreti Children are very indiscreet
ma hanno tanti segreti But they have many secrets
come i poeti Like the poets.
nei bambini vola la fantasia e anche qualche bugia In children, imagination flies, along with some lies
oh mamma mia, bada! Oh, mamma mia, pay attention! [look out]
ma ogni cosa è chiara e trasparente But everything is clear and transparent
che quando un grande piange so that when an adult cries
i bambini fanno “oh” The children say “Oh,
ti sei fatto la bua You hurt yourself [got a boo-boo]
è colpa tua It’s your fault.
Quando i bambini fanno “oh” When the children say “Oh,
che meraviglia, che meraviglia! What a marvel!
ma che scemo vedi però, però But what an idiot, however,
che mi vergogno un po’ That I feel a bit ashamed
perchè non so più fare “oh” Because I no longer know how to say “Oh”
non so più andare sull’altalena I no longer know how to go on a swing
di un fil di lana non so più fare una collana I no longer know how to make a necklace out of a piece of yarn
finchè i cretini fanno(eh) As long as the cretins say “eh”
finchè i cretini fanno(ah) As long as the cretins say “ah”
finchè i cretini fanno “boh” As long as the cretins say boh
tutto il resto è uguale All the rest is the same
ma se i bambini fanno “oh” But if the children say “Oh,
basta la vocale The vowel is enough.
Io mi vergogno un po’ I feel a bit ashamed
invece i grandi fanno “no” Instead the adults say “No”
io chiedo asilo, io chiedo asilo I ask asylum…
come i leoni Like the lions
io voglio andare
a gattoni…
I want to go like big cats [on all fours].
e ognuno è perfetto And every one is perfect
uguale è il colore The color is the same
evviva i pazzi che hanno capito cos’è l’amore Hurray for the crazies who have understood what love is
è tutto un fumetto di strane parole It’s all a comic book with strange words
che io non ho letto That I haven’t read
voglio tornare a fare “oh” I want to go back to saying “Oh”
voglio tornare a fare “oh”
perchè i bambini non hanno peli ne sulla pancia
ne sulla lingua…
if you find this useful and want more, let me know

Il Muro di Sormano: Where Bicycle Racers Hit THE WALL

On a sunny Sunday in January, we drove up to the triangolo Lariano – the peninsula jutting into y-shaped Lake Como, whose tip is Bellagio. It’s an area famous in Italian bike racing history (there’s even a church dedicated to cycling, with relics of famous racers – including their bikes) As we drove, part of the road was stencilled with Muro di Sormano, over and over again. We had never heard of this, and thought it must refer to some ancient ruin of a Roman or medieval wall.

After lunch at the top of the hill in Colma, we noticed a tourism signpost for “Muro di Sormano – 2 km” with an estimated walking time of two hours. This seemed like a lot of time to cover two kilometers. So we started walking down the very steep slope of a newly-paved road, which was painted with altitude markers and stencils of local plants, and viewing spots where you could look out and identify the mountain peaks all around. More mysterious were the large quotations from Italian cyclists, painted on the ground so as to be read from the bottom up.

We ran into a local couple who were happy to tell us all about it. I love hearing stories from people like this, who have been in a place forever and known every inch of it for decades. Myself, I have a breadth of knowledge about many parts of the world, but I will never have the depth of knowledge that comes with being deeply, permanently rooted in your native soil. I’m not sure I would trade, but I do enjoy seeing the other side.

As they explained, the “wall” of Sormano is the road itself. It used to be part of the Giro di Lombardia (and maybe the Giro d’Italia). Because of its steep grade, the cyclists perceived it as a wall. Which doesn’t appear to have stopped them – in one part of the video you can see what are apparently the record times for covering this damn-near-vertical distance.

Immigration and Identity in Europe

(originally published in 2002)

The assassination of Pim Fortuyn, a Dutch politician, provides food for thought. Fortuyn was “a politician who rejected multiculturalism, called for an end to immigration and excoriated Islam as a ‘backward culture’ for its intolerance of homosexuals, attitude to women and more” and “argue[d] fiercely that immigrants should integrate more wholeheartedly with the host nation.” (The Economist, May 9 and April 25, 2002). Fortuyn raised valid questions about immigration and cultural identity, questions that European countries urgently need to answer.

Due to low birthrates, there is a shortage of “native” European babies, and Europe faces a demographic decline which will lead to a disproportion between the number of people being paid state pensions, and the number of people in the workforce paying the taxes to pay those pensions. Europe needs an inflow of young people to fill the demographic gap, and to do the menial jobs that native Europeans consider beneath them. There is demand for labor, and it is supplied, both legally and il-, by economic migration from poorer countries.
Yet immigration worries many Europeans. The ugly side of these fears is expressed in support for extremists like Le Pen in France. Balanced thinkers like Fortuyn, however, deserve a hearing. He posed important questions about the mutual rights and obligations of immigrants and their new home countries.

The big question is integration: How much should immigrants be expected to adopt the values and mores of their new countries? The issues are thorny when people from more repressive cultures immigrate to liberal ones (and the Netherlands’ is one of the most liberal in the world!). Which practices can or should be defended on the grounds of culture and tradition?

Some obvious lines are drawn. Clitoridectomy (“female genital mutilation“) is illegal in European countries; some women have successfully bid for political asylum to avoid being sent back to countries where they would be forced to undergo it. But other cultural conundrums run the gamut from arranged marriage, to Muslim girls covering their heads in school.

There are even culture clashes between first- and second-generation immigrants, sadly illustrated by the case of Fadime Sahindal. She moved with her Kurdish family to Sweden when she was seven, and attended Swedish schools. So she grew up between cultures, a third-culture kid, neither wholly Swedish nor wholly Kurdish. Her parents nonetheless expected that she would behave as Kurdish girls traditionally do, e.g. submit to a marriage arranged by them, with a Kurdish man. She defied them by falling in love with a Swedish man, and was murdered by her own father for “dishonoring” her family. (More)

“European populations are aging, and cannot maintain their welfare states without massive immigration; immigration from Islamic countries threatens to change European values inalterably.” (Rod Dreher, National Review Online)

Pim Fortuyn had reason to fear such changes. He was flamboyantly gay – not a problem for most Dutch, but anathema to many conservative Muslims, even those living in Holland. His murder just before the elections may already have changed the Dutch political mindset: “Mr Balkenende [expected to be the next prime minister] repudiated the country’s multicultural approach to immigration and said newcomers should assimilate with Dutch culture.” (The Economist, May 16, 2002)

Jan 28, 2007 – Revisiting this article nearly five years later, it’s hard to say that much has changed for the better. The Netherlands is having an identity crisis, spurred on the one hand by a tradition of tolerance, on the other by events like the religiously-inspired murder of director Theo van Gogh.

Italy has had its own “honor” killing. Last summer a twenty-year-old woman of Pakistani descent, raised mostly in Italy, was murdered by her father and uncle for dishonoring the family by refusing an arranged marriage and living with an Italian man. Her relatives slit her throat and buried her in the garden.

A colleague told me of a friend of hers, a north African woman in her 30s who has been in Italy for many years and lives with her Italian boyfriend. But now that her family is coming to visit from the home country (yes, I am being deliberately vague), she is going through an elaborate ruse to hide the real facts of her life, for fear that her family would literally kill her were they to find out that she is living in sin. This woman must either submit to the will of her family (marry a Muslim man of their choosing) or live in subterfuge and danger forever. Or renounce her family, but it’s possible that this would not save her life, should the family consider itself dishonored by her behavior. How is an open, tolerant society like Italy’s supposed to deal with this? What can we do to help her and others like her?

Your thoughts?

see also Integration of Muslim Students in Italian Schools

Deirdré Straughan on Italy, India, the Internet, the world, and now Australia